The Onion- Report: Afghan Mineral Deposits Could Completely Revolutionize Nation's System Of CorruptionWASHINGTON—According to a new State Department report, Afghanistan's more than $900 billion worth of untapped iron, copper, lithium, and other minerals could transform the nation from a graft-laden backwater into a modern, 21st-century hub of corrup... […]
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- Wendy's To Phase Out Unpopular Hamburger SandwichDUBLIN, OH—"For more than 40 years, we've tried in vain to get the hamburger sandwich to catch on with our customers, but it is now clear that we're never going to make that happen," Wendy's CEO Roland Smith told reporters. […]
- Report: Afghan Mineral Deposits Could Completely Revolutionize Nation's System Of Corruption